I am sad for those who feel alone.
I have been reading "Blue Like Jazz" and the one chapter that remains in my mind is that on loneliness. My brother is having a difficult time fitting it at college. He goes to New Paltz, and there are a lot of city students there. He is from the Adirondacks. I don't know why he can't make friends. But it seriously breaks my heart to know that he eats lunch alone. "i am okay, sister!" is what he says to me when I beg him to transfer here. He will not move from that school. I feel so sad.

How can I help him fix this?

I just pray God will help him and show him friends. Show him a group he can talk to.


being alone is one of the worse things ever...


) :

Apparently, it's a frost outside. Weird. I have been thinking of Christmas. I cannot wait! It will be fun! I just want the snow to fall (and disappear after the day ends). ha!

The apartment smells like cookies. It's 11PM and Kelly bakes cookies. Ha.

We just had a four day weekend, so I am now ready to go back to classes. I am debating SUing or withdrawing from french. It's a 101 class and I am going to take spanish or latin next semester. Gah. Well, the dead line is the 27th. So I guess I'll waltz into the office and do it.



kelly is talking about the time she went to a doctor's appointment and had been told that she may have cancer. She has an appointment with the same doctor tomorrow. She doesn't have cancer. But she is speaking to our friend Chris about how those three months of waiting were like. She said she was dissappointed that she could die not doing what she wanted to do with her life. It makes me think about my life. I'm not sure if I live everyday to the fullest. If I died tomorrow, would I be happy with what I have lived? Would any of us?

I want to figure skate. yeah...

The kitten has been running around attacking legs and clawing the couch...his time is coming. Next week, he will be old enough to be declawed. Oh joy. Haha.

I am at the library with an array of papers before me. School work? No. General Education and major/minor requirement papers. I have twenty some-odd classes left to fulfill my major and minor...insane. It feels like it will take forever. But I guess I don't mind school that much. I'm just wanting to go out and do something. Classes are classes. I don't feel like I am doing anything. Just sitting in these white walled boxes...the voices of the professor's droning on. Mah.

But, I like to highlight things. And my mom wants me to get my degree. So I will stay in school for those two reasons. Why throw away three years of college anyways? I only have...hmm...four to six more years left. Not even half way there...But, I will have fun once I get the gen. eds. out of the way. They depress me. French is silly. I will not use it. I promise.


My ears are burning...my head hurts...